Our expectation of fellow humans should be limited. WHY? Because they are human beings!
I hope to remind sisters this morning that its just a human nature to fail or to diappoint.
Many of us go through life with deep hurts because we have put human beings in the position of the Almighty. We put them on a pedestal that they do not deserve. When the real human nature is now revelaed, we feel so bad , and we blame them. Noooooooo, dont blame them, change your expectation.
Many times, when i consider marriages, and the problems within it, you can see that someone in the marriage had formed an impression of who they think the other person will be.
In a friendship, the same thing holds. You chose someone and decided that they should be your everything. No, no one deserves that special honour except the lord. You form an impression that they can never fail you, that they will always be at your beck and call.
No one will love you unconditionally and meet your every need and keep all your secrets and be there everytime you call…NO ONE WILL BE INFALLIBLE. No one will do all these at all times. There will be times when they sont be able to.
I SAMUEL 30:1-21
And it came to pass, when David and his men were come to Ziklag on the third day, that the Amalekites had invaded the south, and Ziklag, and smitten Ziklag, and burned it with fire; So David and his men came to the city, and, behold, it was burned with fire; and their wives, and their sons, and their daughters, were taken captives. Then David and the people that were with him lifted up their voice and wept, until they had no more power to weep. And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.
David had men he trusted. He could leave his life in their hands. He even took them with him to fight a ‘borrowed battle’. He trusted them enough to cover his back. David did not succeed in his venture, he was turned back from the war because be was de-seleceted, a major set-back. His career was truncated by the decision of the philistines.
Having lost a few days travelling to and from war, and returning empty handed with no loots, David was doomed when he found that his own home , children, and possessions had been taken away. Naturally, he turned to his men. Why did he do it? They were his trusted men. They were being faced with the same calamity. They had been together for long enough.
But you know what. ….they were so angry with the events themselves that they started thinking of killing David…haaaaaaa……the people with whom he had just returned from battle.
God, who created human beings and put in us the desire to relate with one another has given us a crucial verse of the scripture to help us learn how to relate.
Woe unto he that puts his trust in the arm of flesh…..
The arm of flesh will fail.
People have a right to be human.
You have a right to expect from them, but please dont blame them when they dont live up to your dreams and expectations. There is no human being who is perfect.
Single sisters, dont live in a dream land, hoping that a man will suddeny become what you were hoping he will become. WHO HE IS IS WHO HE IS…..open your eyes and see if that is what you want to live with. The reason that many married women are sad and angry is because they ignored the obvious and hoped that what they saw was suddenly going to change to what they wanted to see.
Married sisters, its too late to change your mind, come back down to earth and ask how you can manage your fellow human within the contract you have signed. Remember, he too is having to manage you the way you are.
Friends, dont expect that one human being will be everything, there is no such app in the software that God installed in man. He alone is the perfect God.
Bend backwards. Be realistic. Be grateful when you get what you want. There is none perfect anywhere. Dont raise your hopes by yourself and blame someone else when its dashed…..If you remember always that you are responsible for how you handle your expectations of fellow human beings, you will stop having heartbreaks when they mess up.
It will keep you sane and help you keep your already-broken herat from hurting any further.
Make sure your trust-level is healthy.
WE ALL NEED A LEVEL OF TRUST TO RELATE…..BUT NO ONE DESERVES 100% EXCEPT GOD.
Trust, but give allowance for disappointment….. that way, when a human being fails, you dont have to nurse a wound everytime.
Guard your heart dilligently…Thoughts that will decide whether you lead a happy healthy life come from your heart. If your heart starts telling you that some other human being is perfect, its not a right thought, it may harm you in the future.
Give allowance for human errors….you are one too!
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